What I learned from my bosses...

and will apply as an entrepreneur.

With or without their intentions, my bosses taught me many lessons, and, just as you anticipated, some were harsh and wrongly delivered, others were motivating and goose-bumping, but all, without exception, were valuable.

I had to make a deep dive lately through these lessons, as I am still defining myself as an entrepreneur, and one of the steps is addressing your demons (yes, the usual suspects: the impostor syndrome, the perfectionist blockage, the foggy vision, the one (wo)man show, etc.)

Here is the top 5+1:

"I'm disappointed in you!"

Ouch! It feels as bad to write it as It felt many years ago to hear it.

And I cannot blame my younger and inexperienced self for not raising above and understanding that my boss actually meant "I am disappointed in you action", because, well, I was younger and inexperienced.

I did chose though to always use the expression correctly (or hardly ever use it), to tell other leaders how I felt when they included it in my performance review.

And, as an entrepreneur, I use it as a reminder that "I am not my business", but my business is the sum of my actions, and I will take responsibility for my actions.

"Look it up! Search, ask, find, don't wait!"

I love this lesson, because as simple as it looks, it helps me every day, even today!

I was new and full of curiosity and questions. My boss (maybe "inspired" by too many interruptions from my side), re-framed my way of thinking: instead of just waiting for someone else to give me a short answer so I can superficially go ahead with my work, at that point in my career, it was best if I did my own research. Because, while doing this, I would learn how and where to search, what words to use to find what I need, I would understand the full context, discover unexpected information and become independent and proactive.

This piece of advice has proved to be priceless in many situations and is a great skill to have as entrepreneur.

"Would you just take the credit for once??"

Family education, school years, culture, separately or together instilled in me the value of "let your actions speak for you! Be modest, be humble!".

And then I met: Corporation! And my language would not match. And my value would say: "Just work hard, stay that extra hour, and they will see it!".

And when they did not see it, I had two explanations: either it was not enough or it's just taking longer".

When a training was great, it was thanks to the participants, when a project was successful, it was the team, all failures were my responsibility cause I had not tripled checked, and so on.

Until one boss, tired of my complaining about no one seeing how much I work, said this to me "Would you just take credit for once??". You did something great? Talk about it, promote yourself, show some pride, always give the right credit to who contributed but give some to you too!

I guess, as an entrepreneur, I kind of have only the second option for now.

"It is what it is!"

I always knew that you cannot make everyone happy, but also accepting it, took me some time.

Because this comes with some ground rules, otherwise you cross into the "I don't care" lane, which is very damaging.

One of my bosses use to say this when, after putting all possible efforts into trying to make everyone happy and, in the end, someone, very subjectively, would end up being disappointed.

And it's very hard to consider all variables (needs, interests, cultures and subcultures, preferences and personal situations) and come up with a concept that would make everyone happy (and I am talking hundreds of people).

So the alternative is, after doing the due diligence, to come up with the bets version possible that would make most happy.

As entrepreneur, I would add to the list of variables: the process of getting to know the client, building relationship, accepting opposite points of view and practicing compromise.

"Building relations is a "plan and execute" exercise!"

This was the most pragmatic and efficient way of looking at the competency of "Building Relationships" (or at least a part of it).

Learn and use the name of the persons you meet, add birthdays in the calendar and write that message, even if you haven's spoken for a year, if you support their initiatives, like that post on social media! Do you know of their special celebrations (wedding anniversary, kid's birthday, work anniversary)? add those in your calendar as well and write that message! Each time you meet a person after a long time, find one thing to compliment. You have to!

I find this harder than leaving all to chemistry and wide smiles when it comes to building relationships, but it is effective!

Now, as entrepreneur, I add to the list: thank that client who paid the bill in time (instead of just ignoring them and focusing on those who did not), create a "business" birthday and special celebrations calendar so you can reach out, and a few others. What I don't do, is generic celebrations (Christmas, Easter, etc.), as I would get lost in the big wave of copy-paste wishes.

"Oh, but where is the sincerity and authenticity in building relationships if you do it based on a calendar?" you could say! I assure you it's still there, because the way you personalize your messages will make the difference.

"Let me show you how I would negotiate my salary If I were you!"

This was such an interesting lesson to receive from a boss, in the near approach of a promotion (at that time, only a possibility, not a confirmation).

After a failed attempt, haunted by my overflowing modesty and the "Who am I to..." mantra, my boss found an ingenious way of showing me a better version, by actually playing the role! Then I practiced and my only purpose was to be able to reproduce the same level of self value, confidence and assertive presentation... I had long forgotten what I was even asking for.

I did get the promotion and the salary I was negotiating for, and only later I understood the selflessness of this act, the sincere appreciation of my work and the courage to teach unconventionally, that my boss displayed.

Now I am aspiring to the same confidence, self value and assertive communication in the negotiations with my clients.

"Be my partner, not just my employee!"

In other words, stop executing, accepting, agreeing and start challenging (yes, the boss), questioning the status quo, suggesting ideas and creating.

And in even other words, you help me look good I help you look better!

What a great feeling to be treated as a partner by your boss (to some extent, of course), to be trusted, empowered, consulted, involved... well, everything at the opposite corner from micromanaged. But this required my effort to come out from execution state and get into the leading state.

In my business, I do my best not to be only a consultant who executes the project, but more of a partner and a coach, helping my clients see new perspectives, consider new mindsets and follow the steps to reach there.

I've been so lucky, wouldn't you say?, to be exposed to such leaders and receive these lessons!

What is your favorite lesson form one of your bosses?